Up In Space

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Truthfully...

..Im not talking about it anymore. Whatever happens, happens.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Friday I made the biggest mistake ever, I told the only girl I've ever loved to shut the hell up, jokingly, but it didnt come off that way, and now Im sitting here damn near in tears and the mental thoughts that are going through my head, between her acting distant, I think she wants to leave me and thats my biggest fear now, school I got that down, friends are set, but losing her would make me the biggest asshole in the world, Im not supposed to tell her to shut the hell up and I thought it be a joke and funny to us both, apparently not, Im scared she hates me, Im scared shes found another guy, Im just scared about our future as a whole. She is the only thing I want in my life girl wise, but I think I messed that up, of course theres other girls in the world, but when you find that special one giving up is the hardest thing ever to handle/do, I dont care about any other female, I just want my Sharita. I dont give a fuck who reads this, I dont care if I look like a punk ass bitch, I wont lose this girl, shes my wife to be, my soulmate all that, Im known to be cocky and shit, so most people like me would just rub this shit off like "whatever, its your lost"..NO! im not that guy when it comes to her, Ive been holding back tears all weekend, Ive been hiding my emotions all weekend, I've tried talking to her about it and she didnt have anything to say, I was terrified when I read that, Im scared, Im shaking as I type this now, nothing would be the same, I cant stand to see her with another dude, I wont see her with another dude, I wont lose her until the day I die, Im sitting here listening to 808s & Heartbreak, Kanyes album about losing the one you love and this shit is the only thing keeping me from breaking down, I bottle my emotions so not even my closest homeboy knows about this, only my closest homegirl and she explained to me what I see as a joke could be seen as a mean verbal attack by her, an attack I have express deeply I regret, I dont know how I could be so FUCKING stupid, time just moves to slow when you suffer from depression, its summer and yet Im feeling like winter, the coldest winter Ive ever endured. I just pray that god understands my situation and knows this is the only girl outside of my family I cant lose ever, please lord I dont ask for much but dont take my Sharita away. Please....;[

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Drake - The Calm

Uh, I'm just so far gone, october's own, Please leave me alone
Drunk off champagne screamin' in the phone
See my house is not a home, fuck is goin' on
Where did we go wrong, where do we belong
Caught up in the game and it's one I can't postpone
Meaning if it rains I'm the one it's raining on
When my diamond chain is on still nothing set in stone
Women borrow sweaters that I spray with my cologne
And tell me don't forget 'em and I promise that I won't
Feelin' so distant from everyone I've known
To make everybody happy I think I would need a clone
Places we get flown, parties that we've thrown
I've done more for this city then these rappers that have blown
It's only been 3 Years look at how I've grown
I'm just in my zone, I call this shit the calm
Yea, but I'm the furthest thing from calm
Dedicated to my mom, and I swear my word is bond
Everything will be ok and it won't even take that long
You can see it in my face or even read it on my palm
Leader of the new school it's proven and it's known
I'm sittin' in a chair but in the future it's a throne
I know you like to worry it'll be better if you don't cause...

[Talking:]
You know, everything gone be alright, I promise. A
Pologize to you know, to put ya'll in this position and vent to ya'll but...
40 mom always say, "Don't ask permisson, just ask forgiveness"
You know, so... forgive me.

[Verse 2:]
Uh, And life is so insane, look what I've became, tryna make a name
All my first dates are interrupted by my fame
Because every picture taken is a fan that you can gain
They love it when you smile unaware that it's a strain
It's a curse you gotta live with when you born to entertain
Women need attention and fore women will complain
Develop hatred for men and say that your the one to blame
Tryna enjoy myself with Taz in miami at the game
I just wish he knew how much it really weighed like dwayne
It's a weight that's on my chest whoever spottin' me is playin'
So I'm liftin' all alone try not to get a sprain
Hopin' western union doing currency exchange
Cause my dad called and got me feelin' guilty and ashamed
Like, how I had a rose and I went and got a range
And he payin' for his cigarettes with dollars and some change
Damn, and I could only feel his pain
Cause in memphis tennessee there's only so much to attain
So I'm fillin' out the form at the counter once a-gain
He say he love me I just hope he doesn't say that shit in vain
Ohio girl heart is in a slang
Call me heartbreak Drake I'm the hardest one to tame
As a man I'm just honest as a artist I'm a king
With my own set of problems that be sittin' on my brain
Yea, And see this is the thang
What they viewing as braggin' is the way that I maintain
The shit I write while staring out the window of a plane
Is the single handed reason I Remain...

[Talking:]
Me, Yea... Uh, I said I call this shit the calm.
But I'm the furthest thing from calm.
I swear I'm puttin' on but they always wanna ask what type of act you puttin' on like... Man.